Category: recommended

I read Tina Fey’s book Bossypants recently and loved it. I read it while I nursed Mimi in the mornings and it was fun enough that I didn’t mind hauling myself out of bed for the 5:30 am feeding because it meant I got to spend some time reading it. (It might be a while until another book has this effect on me.)

I wanted to share this excerpt I liked; you might have seen it around. As a new mother to a baby girl it Spoke To Me. (But it has a couple of sort-of-swears in it if that kind of thing bothers you.)

“The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter” from Tina Fey’s Bossypants

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that S***. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

AMEN.

P.S. – I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day celebrating the women in your life and being celebrated a bit yourself.

I myself am keeping my fingers crossed for a lovely nap.

I’ve been reading more than usual lately. I polished off three or four novels when I was up in WA and since I’ve returned I’ve been staying up later than I should churning through best-sellers. I read the first two books of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy* (a bit uneven but gripping) and this weekend I gave in to curiosity about what everyone on Facebook was talking about and read the Hunger Games Trilogy trilogy (fun and engrossing but not amazing).

But the book that I’ve enjoyed the most recently was The Way of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson. (Disclaimer: It’s hard for me to be totally objective since N and I are friends with Brandon and his charming wife Emily BUT the only reason I’m posting about The Way of Kings is because I really liked it and think that you {or a fantasy-novel-reading nerd you love} might like it too.)

The epic novel is set in a world where ultra-violent storms scour the land which has lead plant, animal, and human life to develop in unique ways. It took me about 40 pages to really get engrossed in the world Brandon’s created but once I was there I was there. The setting and the world’s history and culture are essential to the story but don’t feel obtrusive or awkward like they sometimes do in fantasy novels.

The point-of-view rotates through three main characters: a slave, a scholar, and an aristocrat. Brandon does a nice job of controlling the pacing and each individual plot so there are multiple cliff-hangers that keep you turning the pages. At times (mostly when it’s past one in the morning and you’re tired and need to go to sleep) it can be a little frustrating to have the book jump to Character X when you just want to know what happened to Character Y but it makes for a good page-turner.

A note on the physical book itself–it is nice. Full-color maps begin and end the book and full-page illustrations are found every few chapters. I don’t buy a lot of hard-bound books but this edition is really lovely. (And Amazon has it for $15 which is a great deal.)

The Way of Kings is the first book in a planned 10-book series, The Stormlight Archive. I’ve read my share of epic fantasy series (nerd!) and this is one that I’m very excited to follow.

(*FYI, these are Amazon Affiliate links which means that if you click on it and order something I get a tiny cut.)