Category: navel-gazing

Let the harsh judging commence!

After much thought and discussion we’ve decided to send E to a daycare/preschool for two mornings a week. The main reasons behind my decision are 1) my work has really ramped up lately and I sometimes need to go into the office for meetings or spend a few hours at a time on my reports 2) E enjoys socializing with other kids and as an only child doesn’t get many chances to do so 3) the daycare I found comes highly recommended by a friend; it’s run by Kids on the Move (the county’s child occupational therapy program) and has a strong focus on activities (they don’t even have a tv).

Even though I feel that this is a good choice for E and our family, I’ve agonized over the decision. In general I’m not one for hand-wringing, but I do feel a bit guilty. I really enjoy being a mother but I like working too. I’m pretty good at what I do, I feel appreciated by my team at work, and the extra money is nice. And most of the time I’m able to manage watching E and working at the same time quite well (i.e. I usually work when he naps.)

But I have to admit that on the occasions when work gets really crazy E spends entirely too much time watching tv, sometimes several hours a morning. I think that sending him to daycare for a few hours a week is preferable to that. I’d rather get him on a routine where he can go and hang out with other kids and I can take care of my work at the same time. Then on the days he’s home I’ll have more time to focus on doing fun stuff with him.

While I feel like I’m making a good choice I have to admit that I’m a little apprehensive about being judged by other moms. Not many mothers with young children in my neighborhood work. I can’t think of anyone else who only has one kid and who sends them to daycare. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me but I feel a vague unease when I wonder how other people will perceive my actions.

Having said all that, the most important thing to me is that E does well. I truthfully think he will like it but if he has issues or doesn’t thrive I can take him out and figure something else out.

Fall is my favorite

Foliage in the canyons, taken earlier this week.

I love fall and October in particular. Besides Halloween, a holiday that legitimizes buying 5 lb bags of candy and dressing toddlers in cute costumes even against their will, October also includes my birthday (*cough*next week!*cough*) and my church‘s semi-annual worldwide conference. Here in Utah the conference is televised and curling up on the couch listening to the inspiring talks always leaves me refreshed and recommitted to be better person.

It’s been a crazy-but-fun two weeks shuttling Steven and E around to various attractions but I’m a bit wiped out now. Steven flies home today and after I get back from the airport I might try and catch a nap–either that or get started on the huge laundry pileup I’ve been neglecting. How funny is it that I’m looking forward to doing laundry all day tomorrow while watching conference? It probably has something to do with the fact that I’m wearing yesterday’s socks again today. (Too much info? –probably.)

Anyway, I hope you have a great weekend (and an abundance of clean socks)!

Lucky Girl

It started with the haircut.

I like E’s hair on the longer side but lately it’s been threatening to enter mullet territory so this morning on the way to the gym we stopped at this place that specializes in kids’ haircuts. I was bracing myself for the worst: the first time E had his haircut he cried and almost fell out of the little car he was seated in, the second time he really freaked out and repeatedly tried to to stand up.

But this time E was a dream. He was excited to sit in a little car and watch an Elmo video and graciously condescended to let the stylist snip away at his hair. He didn’t cry once, even when the stylist trimmed around his ears with the clippers. I felt so proud of him. He suddenly seemed a lot older. (By the way, if you go to the local Cookie Cutters ask for Weston. He’s great.)

The beginnings of a toddler mullet–it had to go.

The long suffering customer.

The dapper young gentleman.

After the haircut the rest of the day was a dream. We went to the gym and E went into daycare without fussing. I worked out on the stair machine and read a good book. Then we went home and we ate lunch. E went down for a nap and I folded laundry and watched an episode of Primeval. When E got up we went to the store to run some errands. As we were leaving the store it started pouring rain–it was coming down in sheets. I hadn’t brought an umbrella so I bought one at the store and gathering my bags and holding E I ran out to the car. E thought the rain was super funny and even though my pants and shoes got soaked I was laughing too.

N was already home when we got home and was doing the dishes. E and I played the piano (i.e. he sat on my lap and banged away at the keyboard) for a while and then I fed E dinner. It was N’s turn to make dinner and so he made a delicious kimchi jjigae. While the soup was simmering I did some stuff for work and then we ate and watched a tv show. And then I went to bed.

I know it sounds like a fairly uneventful day. Nothing really newsworthy happened. But all day long I was struck over and over by how blessed I am. I’m writing this down as a reminder to myself for the occasional days when everything seems to be going wrong and I wallow in self-pity: I’m blessed with a wonderful family to love and who loves me. I enjoy a standard of living that 98% of the world can only dream about. I have a healthy body as does my family. I have the means of working for my own satisfaction and to help my family. And I have enough income that if I need to buy a $12 umbrella I can do so without worrying about if I’ll be able to pay my other bills.

Pretty awesome stuff.

How about you? Is there something that you’re especially grateful for today?

New Year Navel-Gazing

I love celebrating the new year. It’s not so much the parties and such, but I like reflecting on the past year and thinking about what I want to accomplish in the coming year. So, here are some of my goals for 2009 (in no particular order).

  1. Become a better cook and learn some good dairy-free, egg-free, nut-free recipes for E’s sake.
  2. Finish organizing/decorating my house (after living in it for 4+ years!) and then keep it tidier.
  3. Exercise regularly and get in better shape (Come on, America! We can do it!)
  4. Help E grow into a well-adjusted, happy toddler.
  5. Improve my woodworking skills.
  6. Improve my photography skills.
  7. Keep in better touch with friends and family.
  8. Grow in spirituality.
  9. Save more money.
  10. Floss regularly all year long instead of mainly for the month leading up to my next cleaning (Hmm…too much info? Probably!)

How about you? Any goals for the coming year?