Letter: Month Nineteen

Dear E,

You actually turned nineteen months old last week but I’ve been procrastinating writing this letter for a while. The main reason is that while there were many great moments during the last month, the last few weeks have been been somewhat hard for me. You’re starting to turn into your own person with your own ideas and (predictably) those ideas don’t always align with we think is best for you.

I think you should drink some soy milk; you don’t want anything to do with it. I think you should take some Benadryl when your allergies flare up; you prefer to spit out the medicine so it runs down your shirt and into your hair. I would like you to play cheerfully with the other kids at day care and nursery like you’ve been doing for the last couple of months; you prefer to cling to my leg and cry brokenheartedly. And so on.

I think the reason these struggles are so difficult for me is that up until now you’ve consistently been a very easygoing little guy. I haven’t really built up much of a tolerance for toddler shenanigans and so I am easily flummoxed at times.

I don’t want to make it sound like you’ve turned into a total pill because you haven’t. You’re still a very sweet little guy. You’ve started giving us close approximations of kisses which are adorable and very much appreciated. And you’ve improved quite a bit talking with talking. You love taking your gummy vitamins and will politely request “minamin, eease!”

I love your fearless sense of curiosity. We’ve gone to a local exhibition farm a few times and every time you go out of your mind with excitement at seeing the different animals. You fearlessly grab handfuls of corn and stick your little fist up to the goats to feed them and then shriek in joy when they lick your hand. It’s so cute to watch.

In general you’re still quite the little trooper. We took you on a day trip to Goblin Valley over Memorial Day weekend and you held it together very admirably. We strapped you into a carrier on your dad’s back and you giggled wildly every time your dad slipped and almost fell down in the mud. It was a lot of fun. We’re looking forward to taking many more family trips together.

You’ve started to idolize older kids. You’re especially fond of your cousins A and J. When we’re over at their house you follow them around like a little puppy. They’re really good with you and like to chase you around and make you laugh.

You know, over the course of writing this letter and thinking about all the ways you’ve grown over the past month I’ve managed to cheer myself up quite a bit. The small lovely moments we share outnumber the frustrating ones many, many times over. I know it can be frustrating for both of us at times, but I’m glad you’re growing into your own. It’s extremely humbling to watch you discover who you are. And it’s amazing–totally, mindbogglingly amazing.

Love,

Mama